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Five Fake April Fool's Day Headlines for Crofton

These headlines aren't real. But they could be.

We're not allowed to try and fool readers with a series of fake news stories. But, we can still try to have some fun. 

Here are five headlines that we might have posted on April Fool's Day, if we were devious like that. Enjoy!

Wegmans to Build a Second Location at Waugh Chapel

Less than six months after opening a new store at the Waugh Chapel Towne Centre, Wegmans said it will open a second, larger location right next door. 

The new store would have a 6,000-square foot hummus bar, a swimming pool filled with Greek yogurt, and an interactive "Cheeses of the World" 3-D experience. 

Crofton Finally Gets a High School

Thanks to an unexpected influx of cash from a corporate donor, Anne Arundel County Public Schools said it will move forward with plans for a new high school in Crofton. The new $400 million Donald J. Trump Sr. High School will will feature a new science lab, spacious gymnasium, auditorium and television studio. 

New 'California Q' Traffic Pattern Proposed for Route 3

Following the success of the "Michigan U" traffic pattern, officials from the state highway adminitration have proposed a new system featuring a roundabout with 16 exit lanes, 14 underpasses and nine stoplights. It's modeled after successful traffic configurations in the Los Angeles area. 

Gambrills Eliminated from All Maps

Anne Arundel County has decided to eliminate the town of Gambrills, after realizing that everyone assumed it was part of Crofton anyway. 

"Gambrills...was that a real place?" new county executive Laura Neuman said. "Let's just make it all Crofton. No one will mind."

Business owners praised the move, especially since many of them had already claimed to be located in Crofton when they were actually located in Gambrills. 

"This will make things less confusing for everyone," said Joe Smith, owner of the Crofton Bike Doctor, which had been located in Gambrills. 

Owners of the Gambrills General Store declined to comment, but looked kind of annoyed.

Crofton Moves into District With Lothian, Pasadena

In an effort to address population imbalances, the county council approved a plan to move Crofton into District 2, along with Pasadena and the south county community of Lothian. It also merged Annapolis with Maryland City and Odenton has been combined with Linthicum. 

"This makes a lot more sense than the existing map," council chairman Jerry Walker said. "Wait...what district am I in now?" 

 

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